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At times, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his grandiose moments frequently escalate into “really delusional”, he admits. You feel invincible and you think, ‘People will see that I’m better than them … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

In his case, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are often coming after a “crash”, a period when he feels sensitive and embarrassed about his actions, making him especially susceptible to negative feedback from external sources. He came to wonder he might have this personality condition after investigating his behaviors online – and eventually diagnosed by a professional. Yet, he is skeptical he would have accepted the diagnosis if he hadn’t already reached that realization on his own. “If you try to tell somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – especially if they experience beliefs of dominance. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve constructed. And in that mindset, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining Narcissistic Personality Disorder

While people have been identified with narcissism for over 100 years, definitions vary what people refer to as the label. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” says an expert in narcissism, who believes the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he believes many people hide it, as there is so much stigma around the illness. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a strategy of using people to seek admiration through behaviors including pursuing power,” the expert explains. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in Narcissism

Although up to 75% of people found to have NPD are males, research suggests this number does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that narcissism in women is typically appears in the less obvious variety, which is less commonly diagnosed. Male narcissism tends to be more socially permissible, as with everything in society,” says a 23-year-old who posts about her dual diagnosis on social media. It is not uncommon, the two disorders appear together.

First-Hand Experiences

I find it difficult with receiving negative comments and rejection,” she explains, since when I’m told that the issue lies with me, I either go into self-protection or I completely shut down.” Although experiencing this reaction – which is sometimes referred to as “narcissistic injury”, she has been attempting to address it and listen to guidance from her close relationships, as she aims to avoid falling into the negative conduct of her past. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners during adolescence,” she reveals. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she says she and her significant other “maintain an agreement where we’ve agreed, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, when I use toxic language, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing mostly in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have healthy examples during development. It’s been a process of understanding over the years the difference between acceptable versus unacceptable to say during a fight because I lacked that guidance growing up,” she comments. Every insult was fair game when my relatives were belittling me when I was growing up.”

Origins of NPD

Conditions like NPD tend to be connected with early life adversity. Genetics play a role,” notes a mental health specialist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “linked to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to manage during childhood”, he states, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting specific standards. They then “rely on those familiar tactics as adults”.

Like several of the NPD-diagnosed people, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The 38-year-old says when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve good grades and career success, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “acceptable.

As he grew older, none of his relationships ever worked out. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he admits. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of forming deep connections, until he met his current partner of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, like him, has difficulty with feelings. She is “highly empathetic of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he explains – it was actually she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Subsequent to a consultation to his general practitioner, John was referred to a therapist for an diagnosis and was informed of his condition. He has been put forward for therapeutic sessions on the public health system (extended treatment is the main intervention that has been proven effective NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the treatment delay for 18 months: The estimate was it is likely to occur in a few months.”

Disclosure was limited to a few individuals about his mental health status, because “negative perceptions are widespread that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, personally, he has accepted it. The awareness assists me to understand myself better, which is always a good thing,” he explains. Each individual have come to terms with NPD and are pursuing treatment for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the condition. But the presence of individuals sharing their stories and the rise of virtual networks indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number